tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38253298272665722622011-08-17T23:59:47.971-07:00Jayleonenoreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3825329827266572262.post-72762934394933703842011-08-10T17:08:00.000-07:002011-08-10T17:08:26.875-07:00People view me as a happy, funny, loving person. But in reality, I'm so fucking broken. Part of it stems from my past and part of it is because I give everybody a little piece of my heart and at some point, there's no more heart left to give. I strongly believe that my parents' divorce was the cataclysmic event that led to this. Or maybe it was just failure by design, I'm not really sure. The only thing I'm really sure of is that I'm far from being happy and that makes me sad. How the fuck did I get to this point? When did it all really begin? When I look around me, I see nothing but broken people. People who are so unhappy with themselves that they resort to pills, blow, weed, alcohol...anything to numb the pain. I don't want to go back to that. I fight that battle every single day. I wake up everyday wanting a drink or wanting to do a fat ass line of blow. But I stop and ask myself, is it worth it? Is it worth hurting the people around me when they have to have another intervention or send me to rehab for the third time? No, it's not worth it. And then I just cry and sleep and cry and sleep. It's just a lose-lose situation.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3825329827266572262-7276293439493370384?l=temptationkills.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jayleonenoreply@blogger.com0